thoughtdance: planets, pumpkins & ports.
“you’re the sort i’d follow into hell because you’d make the journey exciting. but for some people you are hell.” - beer wisdom, dispensed by an old friend whose insightful company i dearly miss but hardly keep anymore. this was some years ago; we were in a bar in the middle of travels, where the rest of the crowd spoke little english and carried crusty surfboards - or had it been another...
how to disguise a limp- the home edition
(it’s alot easier than hiding a kitten, or a motorcycle) 1) create distractions. toss your dog balls of tissue paper as you get in the front door, so mom has to deal with the shredding frenzy while you hobble quick as beans to your bedroom. 2) lean against walls and mumble thoughtfully when caught in mid-hobble to the bathroom; affect distracted grumpiness. 3) if caught exiting bathroom,...
all the other kids were always asking me to draw pictures for them, but i...– other people’s accounts of my childhood, chinese new year 2013.
at the first heartbeat of 2013, i am with my motorcycle 400km from home, rolling dice to make lottery numbers for a new friend, who just read my palms after a conversation on white alligators, with fine whiskey in my belly and fireworks exploding overhead, and 400km more to ride to the next town at dawn tomorrow.
my mind isnt on christmas,
nor the mayan apocalypse, nor new year; not even on the 24 crabs that appeared in the office toilet this morning: all my headspace is glistening with thoughts of fresh adventure in relic-strewn vastness, just north of familiar borders - MYANMAR, steeped in historic majesty and political disarray, and stalwartly closed to adventure bikers until less than a month ago. a report from the first...
happy non-birthday, me!
(mom gets me a watch every year, presumably a reminder of ticking career/biological clocks) it’s good to be alive, considering the sheer number of funny and not-so-funny disasters i’ve rolled through. today’s non-birthday is because i’m postponing the birthdayness to 2 jan (which is when i set off on that long solo) so that i can keep up with my fine annual tradition...
2 dec, away from the circus lights
it wouldnt be half as bad if they’d let me do it all in an astronaut suit, because who needs a hand to hold if you can be SPACEDISCO S P A C E D I S C O instead of that awful sack that was very likely made by having a strawberry vomit repeatedly on a large sanitary pad. oh but it is slightly awesome to walk around with crazed eyes and elastic band marks on my forehead, and have staff...
the anatomy of teeth
gotta give a boy points for originality when his idea of a spontaneous outing is a trip to the dentist. can’t blame him for using ambush tactics - I’ve cut a wide berth around oral health inspections for a good 2 years, at least. my long and ominous dental history reads like a cautionary tale in adventurous carnivorism - 3 missing teeth (thankfully no gaps in my smile, but also no...
yeah well i sure know a kid or two who has secretly wished for a Bad Sick so...
“but when loathsome old age pressed full upon him, and he could not move nor lift his limbs, this seemed to her in her heart the best counsel: she laid him in a room and put to the shining doors. there he babbles endlessly, and no more has strength at all, such as once he had in his supple limbs.” - homeric hymn to aphrodite. (greek mythology has it that a trojan soldier was captured...